Life as a parent of a child with allergy is often dominated by stress, guilt and ‘what ifs’
Put aside the daily challenges of any parent of a child with serious allergy – the niggling doubts, the double-checking, the second-guessing – and their biggest fear is often this: what’s going to happen when I eventually send my child out into the world on their own?
For mum Rebecca*, whose eight-year-old daughter Lucie lives with a complex list of allergies, it’s a fear that constantly plays on her mind. “The scariest part of my daughter’s allergies is worrying for her future,” she tells us. “What happens when she wants to kiss someone? When she goes out as a teen and doesn’t take care of herself? Or doesn’t tell anyone that she’s beginning to have a reaction?”
“What scares my husband the most is that something as simple as food is life-threatening for his daughter”
Managing attitudes to allergy
Rebecca carries two adrenaline injectors with her at all times and always makes a point of checking allergens with food service staff and asking to see labels where possible.
Even still, she finds eating outside the home with her daughter frustratingly difficult. “It’s a minefield. An absolute minefield,” she says. “You tell a waiter about your daughter’s allergies and ask, ‘does this contain egg or dairy?’ and they say, ‘don’t worry, it’s gluten-free.’ There’s a total lack of knowledge.”
Frustratingly, it’s the attitude and ignorance of wait staff that can make the experience so stressful. “I don’t want my daughter to think she’s a problem,” says Rebecca. “She just has allergies. She’s a 100% normal child, and I don’t want her made to feel any different.”
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The birthday cake scare
Lucie’s most recent anaphylaxis occurred this year at a friend’s birthday party at a huge indoor play centre. Lucie is allergic to cow’s milk, egg, sesame, shellfish and most nuts, so she’s used to missing out on the treats many of her friends take for granted. But at this particular party, the cake was thought to be free of her allergens.
“It was a sorbet cake,” says Rebecca. “I checked that it was sorbet, not ice-cream, and it seemed fine.”
“I don’t know what I was thinking, except that I didn’t want her to miss out. It seemed worth what I thought was a small risk for her to be happy and fit in.”
Seconds later, Lucie started complaining of an itchy mouth and throat. “I always ask her on a scale of 10, and she said nine or 10,” says Rebecca. “Then she started saying her throat felt thick and it was hard to swallow, and she was feeling dizzy.”
“It was nightmarish. There were multiple other birthday parties happening and hundreds of kids running everywhere”
No-one knows how they’ll react in an emergency, and Rebecca was in a state of panic. “I made calls I probably shouldn’t have made,” she admits. “I grabbed her, found her shoes and went straight to the car because I didn’t want her to become a spectacle in front of hundreds of people – I didn’t want that to be a core memory for her.”
“I should have given her the EpiPen straightaway”
“I walked her, which I know I shouldn’t have done, to the car, turned it on, freaked out when it said no petrol, and drove faster than I’ve ever driven before to the closest emergency hospital.” A&AA note: always call triple zero (000) for an ambulance.
On arrival, Lucie, who was still struggling to breathe, was immediately triaged and staff instructed Rebecca to give the adrenaline injector.
It was a distressing event that left Rebecca questioning her approach. “One of the scariest things about managing allergy is that the treatment is down to the parent,” she says. “It’s up to us to make the call, to inject our child, when you’re out in a crowded space at a party.”
She later Googled the cake and discovered that while the cake itself was dairy-free, the white piping decorating it contained milk.
Looking to the future
Rebecca generously donated to Allergy & Anaphylaxis Australia this year because she wants to see advancements in all facets of allergy care – both for her daughter’s sake and the millions of others like her. “I want to see other children helped and I want more parents to know that your services exist,” she says.
Rebecca has shared her story to help others. Panic often takes over in an emergency and that is the time to stop, bring the adrenaline device to the person having anaphylaxis and follow instructions on their ASCIA Action Plan.
Our 2025 Christmas Appeal aims to shine a light on the burden of allergic disease and bring new hope to families like Rebecca and Lucie. Your gift will provide one-on-one allergy and anaphylaxis support to those who need it most, from our team of experienced allergy educators. You’ll fund the creation of more evidence-based resources and tools to help with the day-to-day management of allergies, as well as our continued efforts to advocate on your behalf and act for real change.
*Names have been changed.
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Being diagnosed or living with allergies is challenging.
We are always grateful for people who take the time to share their stories with us so others don’t feel so alone.